By Marla Louise

Within our society, one hears the comment "I did not chose to be [fill in the blank]." I did not choose to be black. I did not chose to be gay. I did not choose to be intelligent. A little closer to home, I hear I did not chose to be a transvestite. I did not chose to be a transsexual.

I cringe every time I hear this expression.

Note, there is NOT one person on this planet who 'chooses' to be who they are! We are all uniquely who we are, not by choice, but by nature and environment (and maybe God).

However, when someone makes the claim, "I didn't chose to be xxxxxx", there are several implications behind the statement that I consider to be negative.

First, it implies that self and life decisions equate to the same thing. And if they are the same and one does not 'chose' self, then one also does not chose life decisions and is therefore not responsible for life decisions. For one cannot be responsible for actions one has no choice in. I refute this conclusion. This is an attitude of abrogating responsibilities for one's own actions by passing the blame on 'self' or 'nature'.

Second, this would be a meaningless statement if one assumed that everyone faces the same problem. But when one uses this 'defense', they are implying that they are exempt from the ideas of responsibility while others are not. "I did not chose my own self so I am not responsible for my actions, but I do not exempt _others_ from being responsible for their actions." This is almost a hypocritical attitude in that it presumes separate beneficial rules of life for the person expressing the statement.

Third, it implies a need for defense, and with the need for defense, implies that which is defended to be 'bad'. You don't hear anyone defend 'good' actions like being 'kind' or 'altruistic' by saying they had no choice! One only hears this defense to excuse 'bad' life choices. I refute that my life decisions are 'bad'. I find them both better for myself as a person, better for my loved ones and better for society as a whole.

So if you use this expression to defend your crossdressing or SRS. You might reconsider it. For it does not paint your own self or our community as a whole in a very good light.