By Marla Louise

There has been much ballyhoo about how transsexual's *live* their lifestyle and transvestite's *play* at their lifestyle. In general, it's bigoted attitude for it is assigning a derogatory label ('play' is not normally derogatory but in this case it is) on all members of a group of people.

But I'd like to look at these words for a minute. What do we mean when we compare *live* with *play*? I would like to offer a possible definition. When we speak of *live* we mean that the individual integrates their life with the reality of the world. They are truthful to themselves about both their own person, the physical world and social world that they exist in. And they make their life path decisions based on these realities.

Contrarily, that person who *plays* constructs a fantasy world. A world that does not reflect their own person, the physical world and the social world they live in. Play, in and of itself is not 'bad' so long as it is constrained within certain portions of ones life. But when the *play* controls the life. When the individual makes life path decisions based on the fantasy world, then *play* becomes bad.

Now that we have defined the words, I'd like to see if they apply singularly to those members of the transgender community that wear the transvestite label. Generally, transvestite's are those individuals who live and/or play in the nether world between the monolistic genders. They violate either as part of their *life* or part of their *play* the society rule that states "Each member of society will be a member of one and ONLY ONE gender." This is the one commonality of this group. So to designate this whole group as *playing* based on their label implies that the gender rule is a reality and those individuals wearing the label transvestite have constructed a false reality where the rule does not exist.

Now this is arguable. For is not the social structure and it's rules a reality?

But who are arguing this? It is transsexual individuals who have broken a different society gender rule which states "One's gender is assigned at birth based on genitalia and is permanent." So if the transvestite is, by definition, *playing* because they are violating one of societies gender rules, then the transsexual is also, by definition, *playing* because they also violate one of societies gender rules.

But really, societies gender rules are just that, rules, not reality so to violate them consciously cannot be classified as play or fantasy. Therefore, I would suggest that neither transvestite or transsexual defines a lifestyle that is either *play* or *living*.

Individuals from either group (or any other group for that matter) may or may not be engaged in *playing* at their lifestyle. But certainly their label does not define them as doing so.

*** To proclaim that one transgender subgroup, by definition, are *playing* while another subgroup by definition, are *living* is not a reflection of reality but a reflection of bigotry!

*** But does this mean that transgendered individuals are immune from creating a fantasy world, immune from *playing* instead of *living* their gender roles? Certainly not. This is a mistake all human beings are capable of engaging in. This means that individuals who wear the label transvestite and transsexual are capable of *playing* their life and gender instead of *living* it. How do we discern the difference? I would suggest it involves discerning how individuals view themselves, society and the physical world. If the person believes change of clothing creates a woman that person is creating a fantasy world. If a person denies the negatives and only looks at the positives of certain decisions (like hormones or SRS) that person is constructing a fantasy world. If a person believes hormones and SRS are a magic pill that will turn her into a woman (the social/identity role) that person is constructing a fantasy world. If that person denies her own heritage and life experience, that person is constructing a fantasy world.

It is those that are building and living in fantasy worlds that are *playing*. And if they then make life decisions based on these fantasy worlds then they are engaged in 'bad' *play*. And such 'bad' *play* is not the prerogative of any transgender subgroup, transvestite's and transsexual's can both be guilty of this act!